Restoration Takes Time

"Restore our fortunes, O Lord,
like the watercourses in the Negeb.
May those who sow in tears
reap with shouts of joy.
Those who go out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
carrying their sheaves."
(Psalm 126)

This psalm has blessed me this week in a couple of ways...

First, by praying this psalm, I have felt a certain solidarity with its author. Empathizing with his struggle in prayer, I find great similarity in how we approach God. In the midst of a prayer to God, the psalmist moves from petition to God (Restore our fortunes) to stating a possible outcome (May those who sow...), as if hopeful yet uncertain, to declaring how things in fact will be (Those who go out... shall come home...). It's almost as if the author has a bit of hesitation at first. Yet, as the prayer continues, his feet become firmly planted on God's promise and providence.

In our recent change of appointment, I have experienced this. Though I submitted my name for reappointment, I did not want to leave St. Paul (where I am presently), and I was angry with God about taking us from a church and people we have grown to love. In fact, at the close of our Ash Wednesday service two months ago, the concluding hymn was "Have Thine Own Way Lord." Frozen in anger and pain, I could not sing it. In talking with one of the saints of our church, I asked her for prayer: "Sue, though I have peace in knowing I am doing the right thing, I do not have peace that God will take care of me." However, as I continued to step forward in faith, I was affirmed of God's provision for my well-being in ministry. It was like stepping into a thick fog. I could not see beyond my immediate steps, yet every time I moved forward the lay of the land became clearer and my confidence in God's promise grew.

Second, I was blessed by the helpful image of planting and harvest. How long does it take to plant a crop, see it grow, watch it yield, then harvest it? It takes a good bit of time! Yet, this is the promise of God, according to this psalmist: restoration takes time. Experiencing the fullness of God's blessings is not instantaneous. Joy comes at the price of patience, long-suffering, tear-filled prayer and devotion.

When it comes to God's transforming work, the image I would like to see in the bible is the overnight express. "God, if you don't mind, just FedEx me. That way, I can wake up in the morning and all my problems be solved." But God doesn't seem to work this way. The road to wholeness has no express lane. It takes time! Someone once told me, "Tears are prayers falling into God's loving hands." So often I want uninvolved eradication of my sins. Just rip it out of me, so I can get on with my life. Yet, God wants something different. He wants tears of radical emptying, so we can be filled with His nourishing grace. He wants knees that continually buckle before the cross in heart-throbbing pangs, so we can abound in the joy of His resurrection. He wants us to experience it all, not for the sake of watching us writhe in pain, but so we may find our wholeness through our pain in the beauty of his perfect presence and touch.

Sowing in tears; reaping with joy!
JON