Being True to Oneself

Upon rereading portions of Dostoyevski’s The Brothers Karamazov, I have come to ponder… what does it mean to be true to oneself? I did so as I ran across Father Zossima’s words to Fyodor Karamazov. Fyodor was acting foolishly. He is portrayed as half wanting to impress the Orthodox Priest with his sophistication and half desiring to ‘put down’ others with subtle insults laced with humor.

Father Zossima—the Christ-like, conscience of the narrative—sees through the foolishness and offers these words to Fyodor: “Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to such a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love…. The man who lies to himself can be more easily offended than anyone else… has caught at a word and made a mountain of a mole-hill—he knows that himself, yet he will be the first to take offense, and will revel in his resentment till he feels great pleasure in it. And so he will pass to genuine vindictiveness.”

I would bet that many in our society today are lying to themselves. Pressed by so many concerns to be something that others esteem, some will find they have become not what God meant them to be, but what others have ‘scripted’ for them. They convince themselves that if they open their true hearts to God or others, they will be undesirable or personally wounded. Some will plant seeds of resentment not anticipating the fruit of vindictiveness. Inevitably, lives are destroyed. It is a vicious cycle and one we see too often all around us.

As people of Peace and Love, we Christians have a great privilege: helping others break free from this incapacitating rut. How do we do that? How do we help them remain true to themselves? We model it in our own lives. We “clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven us. Above all, clothe ourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts. And be thankful.” (Colossians 3.12-15)

Thanks for being true to yourself,
JON